About Our Counselling
You don't need to have a mental health problem to benefit from counselling
In fact, for many people a counsellor is like a personal trainer for the mind – one who helps them to develop self-awareness and life-skills.
Here are a few examples:
- It can help you to get to know yourself better – your strengths, life goals, patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving, etc.
- It can help you become more appreciative of the positives in yourself and your life – which is a key to genuine happiness.
- It can help you to communicate more effectively and to build better relationships, with family, friends, work colleagues.
- It can help you to develop personal qualities such as self-confidence, assertiveness, resilience.
- It can help you to develop your emotional and social intelligence and so be able to better handle difficult situations that may come your way.
Aside from that, sometimes it just feels good to open up, freely and honestly, to someone who is on your side, someone with mental health expertise and life experience, who is there just for you.
About single-session therapy
The most common number of talking therapy contacts that clients attend, worldwide, is one, followed by two, followed by three. This is irrespective of diagnosis, complexity, or the severity of the problem.
70-80 per cent of people who attend only one session, across a range of therapies, report that the single session was adequate given their current circumstance.
It is impossible to accurately predict who will attend only one session and who will attend more. Given this, why not approach the first session ‘as if’ it might be the last?
Single session therapy (SST) is therefore a way of approaching therapy where therapist and client work together to see if they can help the latter get what they want from one session, but if not, more help is available.
(excerpt from M.F. Hoyt, M. Bobele, A. Slive, J. Young, J., & M. Talmon, (Eds.), Single-Session Therapy by Walk-In or Appointment: Administrative, Clinical, and Supervisory Aspects of One-at-a Time Services. New York: Routledge)
Telephone counselling helps by..
– giving you opportunity to put your current difficulty into words and to express yourself fully and freely.
– clarifying in detail what you are feeling and thinking, your values and motivations, your needs and expectations.
– exploring the nature, origins and impact of the difficulty which brings you to counselling and setting it within the wider context of your life.
– having a conversation with a compassionate and experienced therapist who will listen to you and your life story. We can also discuss options, such as self-help activities or signposting to other resources, according to your needs and wishes.
This client-centred process of enquiry promotes personal insight and helps you to identify opportunities and choices, so that you may make positive changes in your life.
We offer..
- 50-minute initial counselling sessions.
- 75-minute initial counselling sessions, which includes an holistic assessment – this can be particularly useful for exploring longstanding or complex difficulties.
- 45-minute & 30-minute follow-up counselling sessions.
Becoming your own psychologist..
As pain (which relates primarily to the body) comes in many forms and is inevitable in life, so is suffering (which relates to the mind). However, just as we can be proactive in protecting our physical health, there is much we can potentially do to ease our psychological suffering in the present. We can also mentally strengthen ourselves and thereby significantly limit mental pain when it arises in the future.
At times there are situations in life which cause us distress and which we would like to change – and sometimes we can change them and sometimes we can’t.
However, whether we can change a situation or not, we can certainly change our relationship to it, how we work with it, and thus change how it affects us. And we can change how we relate to such events by learning more about ourselves. By examining our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, we enhance our understanding of our mind and how it operates.
This process can also promote psychological flexibility, which is a powerful boost to our mental wellbeing. It enables us, for example, to consciously respond to an event rather than reacting out of habit.
As part of this process, our clients can engage in a holistic assessment, developing a personalised formulation which is an understanding of how various factors in life (e.g. biological, psychological, social) may have combined to produce current experiences. This understanding includes clients’ strengths and achievements – not just their difficulties.
The Jonah Complex
or how we can stop getting in the way of our own success.
In his book The Farther Reaches of Human Nature, psychologist Abraham Maslow noted that we all have an instinctive impulse to be successful in life.
However, he suggested that just as we can be fearful of what we might do at our worst with our powers and abilities, we can also be hesitant or anxious about becoming our best. He therefore described the Jonah Complex as ‘having a fear of one’s own greatness’.
And this can prevent us from utilizing our talents to realize our potential and to more authentically live our best lives.
Jonah was an ordinary man who tried to resist a calling to go on an important mission, which was to warn the people of a city called Ninevah about the consequences of their immoral ways.
However, he was a timid man and he tried to run away from his calling and boarded a ship to take him far away but a terrible storm soon arose and threatened to sink the ship. Jonah blamed himself (and his fearfulness) for the storm and agreed to be thrown overboard to save everyone else on board.
The storm abruptly stopped.
Jonah did not drown but was swallowed whole by a whale. He was alive but utterly distraught. He was inside the whale for three days, reflecting on his life and his calling. He eventually resolved to be true to his greater self. It was then that the whale spat Jonah out.
Back on dry land and feeling more self-confident, Jonah then travelled onward to Ninevah and successfully completed his mission.
The Psychology
The story of Jonah is a parable or teaching-story with several layers of meaning. Maslow and others have focused on the psychological aspect. Jonah’s calling is seen as a part of his inner being, and not something external to him.
The idea of the Jonah complex is that perhaps many of us are too timid to take on a mission in life and, instead, we only do what we need to do in order to get by from day to day. We can, though, experience moments – of achievement or connection for example – in which we glimpse what we can be capable of.
Maslow would ask his students ‘who among you will become a great leader?’ – and when no-one in the group was confident enough to put up their hand, he would ask ‘if not you, then who else?’
He advised them that doing only as much as was necessary to get by in everyday life was a recipe for dissatisfaction. They would be avoiding their own capabilities and possibilities.
There are any number of examples from everyday life where people might hesitate, or even avoid, doing what they would like to do – such as starting a new relationship, becoming a parent, starting a business, developing a skill or just doing something different and having new experiences.
Life also automatically presents us with many transition points as we grow older, from childhood, through adolescence, into adulthood then old age. With each transition point we are presented with choice – whether we proceed in the direction of personal growth (and fulfilment) or stay where we are, what we are familiar with.
So why might we resist fulfilling our potential? It may be that we anticipate that the effort required, or the responsibility, may be too great for us to bear – and that we might fail. Not realising that ‘failure’ is a misperception, and that the road to great success is always bumpy.
‘The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing’ – Henry Ford.
Worrying thoughts about the unknown can make us choose the ‘safe’ option of not doing something different, of not stepping out of our comfort zone and starting a new (ad)venture.
It may be that we doubt, or cannot visualize, ourselves as becoming a more successful person. We may worry about losing control or of changing from the person we know (in the present) to a person we don’t (in the future). We may worry about how others might see us, or that we may no longer easily fit in with our social group.
There are many ways in which we can psychologically get in the way of our own happiness.
Limitless Possibilities
Of course, life can come with all kinds of limitations, but we can certainly explore our inner limits, bring conscious awareness to them and transcend them. We can allow ourselves to expand our capacities and, by living in tune with our best values and aspirations, reap the rewards of a more rewarding, satisfying life.
We might begin by taking note of what we are already have, what we are already quite good at, or what inspires or motivates us – and then going in that direction. Even small steps will still get us somewhere. And the journey is likely to be at least as important than any destination if we have meaningful and enjoyable experiences along the way.
Maslow also reminded us that we need to balance having grand aims with having our feet on the ground. Most successful and self-aware people have this blend of both character traits.
Finally..
There are other sources of support and strategies available to us should we find it difficult to unleash our potential. These might include seeking the support of others, acquiring knowledge or developing new skills.
‘Everything you want is on the other side of fear’ – Jack Canfield (author of Chicken Soup for the Soul)
You may use our contact form if you would like professional support to explore any thoughts, emotions or behaviours that might be getting in the way of you realising your potential.
All the text on our website is authentic – created by a specialist telephone counsellor, not AI.